Beers, Bats & Belts . It’s a Bar Quiz, and mix of previous guests – Michael, Jen, Phil and Rich-gather to compete. Also, Andy joins us in a leftover footage from last months special podcast to cover the first WWF/WWE movie that time (and the Box Office) forgot… No Hold Barred!
Having found myself with a spare hour, and having recently Freddy in Space’s blog, (http://www.freddyinspace.com/2013/08/the-30-question-horror-lover-challenge.html) I found John Squires over at F.I.S. had tackled a Horror Quiz.
In the spirit of a recent blogger who lost a book deal, I’m re-cycling other people’s ideas as my own. Unlike that mystery blogger- who frankly does not deserve to be named as they clearly want attention for nothing- I am citing my sources. (In addition, also unlike that mysterious blogger, I wouldn’t get involved romantically with a Quentin Tarrantino since I’m too lazy to get a pedicure). According to John’s blog, he obtained the quiz via Facebook courtesy of a link from Twitter’s @LiZZYizTWIZTid.
So, until You Total Cult’s next proper blog entry, here is my take on @LiZZYizTWIZTid‘s Horror Love Challenge!
- SCARIEST KID CHARACTER IN A HORROR MOVIE- Esther form Orphan. Sure there are far scarier films featuring killer kids, but towards the end of the movie Esther’s antics involve making sexual moves towards her adopted father. This sexualisation of a small girl just gives her such a creepier aspect overall to any other child in a horror film that I can think of. (NB:If you’ve seen the film then you know all is not as it seems, but even so it’s a freaky concept)
- BEST SEX SCENE MURDER- As I recall, Delamore Dellamorte involves sex, impressively heaving bosoms and zombies getting shot all during the same sex scene. And if I remembering wrong and this sex scene never happened then I don’t apologise as it proves my brain is a wondrous place.
- CREEPIEST DEAD BODY- John Carpenter’s The Thing features a torched corpse that was roasted as it was mid-way through changing up its many different types of DNA. So. Damn. Creepy.
- A HORROR MUSICAL YOU ENJOY- There’s really only 1 option and it involves a shameless plug. http://www.chrisandphilpresent.co.uk/blogs/hollyweird/hollyweird-episode-xxiii-between-a-rocky-and-a-horror-place/
- FUNNIEST HORROR MOVIE CHARACTER- Whoa, this is tough. Obviously Evil Dead’s Ash, Big Trouble In Little China’s Jack Burton or Braindead’s Lionel are all hilarious. But in an act of balance, I’ll actually pick Leslie Vernon, the killer from Behind The Mask: The Rise Of Leslie Vernon. Frankly, Ash, Burton and Lionel are too evenly matched. Besides which Vernon’s comedic charisma carries the entire film which is harder to pull of when he’s aiming to slaughter people, rather than save the day.
- FAVORITE WOMAN IN THE WORLD OF HORROR?- If only there were a women who had written definitive books on Zombies and Cult movies… oh wait, my girlfriend has!! Seriously though, she’s uber-smart and a tough cookie, so she could easily survive a Slasher Franchise. Plus we even met a Horror Festival!
- A HORROR YOU’D BE IN- Let me paint you a quick picture. A few months back I was in Japan. At many restaurants you have to remove your shoes, stow them away and proceed in your socks. At one such place, I was putting my size 12 Dr marten’s back on post-meal and I was met by a squealing waitress. She kept pointing and exclaiming “BIGFOOT-OU! BIGFOOT-OU!”. So I ‘d best be in a Sasquatch movie.
- FAVORITE ALIEN-RELATED HORROR MOVIE- John Carpenter’s The Thing is the best straight up alien horror that I know of, Predator is the most action packed alien-film and Killer Klowns From Outer Space is the most fun. So it depends if I’m in the mood for terror, machismo or popcorn.
- BEST HORROR TV SERIES- Gravity Falls, which is basically Eerie Indiana in an animated form but somehow even better! I’m also giving a shout out to American Gothic, an often forgotten TV show brought forth by Sam Raimi and one episode even cameos Bruce Campbell.
- A SERIAL KILLER YOU HATE- Yeeeeeah, this is too tasteless to answer as they’re all scum. So I’ll change it to ‘A Fictional Horror Film Serial Killer You Hate’ which goes to The Leprechaun. Because he has yet to get a decent kill even across 6 films. Keep chasin’ the dream lil’ buddy.
- MOST DITZY CHARACTER- Any human in Prometheus. They’re all morons with zero character-logic to them.
- FAVORITE HORROR MOVIE FROM THE PAST YEAR- It’s a Marmite choice, but I liked Resolution.
- BEST IMPALEMENT- Phantasm features a flying, spiked sphere ramming into a dude’s cranium- and just when it can’t get any worse a drill starts to burrow on into his forehead. It’s certainly creative.
- KILLER WHO HAS THE BEST WEAPON- Although it’s a one-off stabbing, Sleepwalkers has a cop get gets stabbed to death by a corn on the cob. How could I not pick it?!?!
- A HORROR LOVE-STORY- Every Slasher film concerns the love between a maniac and their blade…
- BEST THROAT SLICING- The Undertaker when he’s calling for the Tombstone.
- FAVOURTE SEQUEL TO A HORROR- To my mind Evil Dead 2 just may be the greatest film of all time.
- BEST HORROR MOVIE IN THE WOODS- See above.
- AN ACTOR YOU ENJOY WATCHING GET MURDERED- Paul Reiser in Aliens. Damn yuppies!!!
- MOST ATTRACTIVE HORROR MOVIE KILLER- Katharine Isabelle in American Mary- Grrrrr!
- BEST FAMILY IN HORROR- Aw, I’ll just name check the horror community as a whole! We’re all one big happy family! No, wait that’s a bit twee for this quiz. Matt Cordell and Turkell in Maniac Cop 2 seem like the horror equivalent of the film Step-Brothers. I’ll give them a shout out just so that Maniac Cop 2 gets a mention in here.
- WORST RECENT HORROR MOVIE YOU’VE SEEN- There are so many I can’t pick. I guess Texas Chainsaw 3D as it’s too lazily written to even work out a year to set the film in.
- FAVOURITE 1970’S HORROR- I don’t want to keep referring to a particular film beginning with P, so the absolute classic that is Romero’s Dawn Of The Dead.
- FAVORITE HORROR THEME SONG- Oddly enough I was whistling the Cannibal Holocaust theme earlier today. So that’s my answer for today.
- BEST VERSIO OF JASON VORHEES- Screw it, I’ll risk Kane Hodder’s ire and go with the Jason from Freddy vs Jason. Dude was a decaying bulldozer, which to me seemed a bit more threatening than a mentally handicapped guy in a boiler suit and some protective sports gear. In fact come to think of it, why does Jason wear a safety mask? Pfff- pansy!
- A HORROR MOVIE YOU CAN’T WAIT TO SEE- Whatever it is, I can wait.
- BEST BEHEADING- Adam Buxton in Hot Fuzz. Admittedly it’s more of a squishing, but the body ends up headless in a spectacular fashion.
- MOST RIGHTEOUS KILLER (FOR GOOD)- Shaun (Of The Dead) uses a cricket bat and hides out in a pub. That’s as righteous as an Englishman can get.
- FAVORITE B-MOVIE HORROR- Almost all horror films start out as B-Movies, so I can’t even begin to pick.
- HORROR WITH AN ENDING YOU DIDN’T EXPECT TO HAPPEN- Puppet Master 6: Retro Puppet Master. Yep, that’s my pick and here’s why. This terrible film had the lone ‘selling point’ of explaining the origins of some of the killer toys. After a horrendously dull film, the character recounting the tale still has not cleared up the toys origins and he ends by pretty much saying “Oh, I got distracted! I’ll tell you another time”. I never expected Puppet Master 6to be good, but when the one thing you are expecting from the entire concept is ignored that’s pretty unexpected!
Bye for now and thanks for reading. Next time I really will be back with some bits and bobs from behind the scenes at Frightfest. Probably.
Follow me on Twitter: @You_Total_Cult.
In the short term, the YTC podcast can currently be found at http://www.chrisandphilpresent.co.uk/blogs/youtotalcult/
The blog below was under an older name of Hollyweird. I have kept the numbering the same so that I could keep track of my posts, but this is where it all begin back in the heyday of 2012…
To present day horror-fans, Cabin In The Woods may seem the pinnacle of Post-Modern horror. It’s certainly good- damn good- presenting on the clichés of the past in a comical and action-packed manner. It’s self knowing but genuine.
To people of my generation, we had a somewhat similar experience with Scream. Thinking about it, some unfortunate generation probably got Scary Movie. Tough break, kids. That was another film that winked to the audience about the familiar trappings of slasher films, whilst still pulling them all off. (Scream even got away with the vastly underrated sequel, which will get it’s own blog soon enough).
There has been a particular rush of excellent Post-Modern horror films in the last few years. Now we live in a ‘youtube’ age where things get recorded, reflected on and meme’d the increase in Post Modernism shouldn’t be a surprise. Sterling efforts in the last decade include Dale & Tuckers Evil, Behind The Mask: the Rise of Leslie Vernon, Feast and All the Boys Love Mandy Lane.
Of course neither Cabin nor Scream nor any of the recent efforts are the sole Post-Modern horror films. I am not even going to attempt to pinpoint whichever film could be first said to exactly pull that off. April Fools Day may be a contender. Evil Dead II managed to mock its prequel whilst also developing upon it. Even Peeping Tom studies the idea of watching films whilst being a murderer which went over far too many peoples heads at the time of its release. There are just too many possibilities to pick the ‘first’ Post-Modern horror. But there is one film that was successful enough in its own right, yet it rarely gets the love or respect it deserves. I present now perhaps the most over-looked of the Post-Modern horror film……………….. Jason Lives: Friday 13th Part VI
When Friday 13th is brought up, the thing that comes to mind is Jason Voorhees. An unstoppable zombie in a hockey mask, using a machete to slaughter teens. Well, this was not always the case. The first four films in the series actually tie into each other fairly tightly (at least by Slasher standards). If you can ignore the random ageing of Jason in these entries, there is a clear through line of human killers and human motivations for all the films incidents.
However by the fourth entry, The Final Chapter (yeah, right) the franchise had grown to profitable to let go. So Paramount did what most studios do with profitable horror franchises- they kept the money rolling in whilst distancing themselves from their ‘shameful’ product. In this instance they basically just went ‘Ah screw it’ and had Jason return as a Zombie. There was no build up to this, no explanation of the supernatural into the Camp Crystal lake world. It just happened. Now if this sounds stupid in theory, it is the execution that makes Jason Lives worth re-considering.
Writer/ Director Tom McLoughlin loads the film with all manner of previous horror references, the most obvious being Jason’s resurrection via lightning. Whilst Jason lies in his grave, the man who formerly best Jason, one Tommy Jarvis, digs up Jason and stabs him in the heart with a metal rod- you see, ol’ Tommy sure can hold a grudge. But wouldn’t you know it, along comes a storm, and bam! Pure evil rises again as a modern day (well, 1986) Frankenstein’s Monster whilst his creator bemoans what he has unleashed. Jason’s first time clearly coming back from the dead is done in a way perfectly fitting for horror archetypes, if admittedly incredibly lazily by any other standards.
Remarkably, these nods to the past continue throughout the entire film. Before Scream featured a sweater clad janitor called Fred, or Cabin In The Woods had a message board of killers, Jason Lives featured a grocery store called Karloff’s and a little girl called Nancy who sees a monster in her dreams. But beyond all these sly references, one character even breaks the fourth wall! The local drunk exclaims “Why’d they have to go and dig up Jason?” (looks down camera) “Some folks sure got a strange idea of entertainment.”
What film maker Tom McLoughlin realised was that these films were no longer about an unlucky day before a casual Saturday. They were now all about Jason. So he decided to bring Jason back and just have fun via making a ‘crappy slasher sequel’ that the studio seemed to deem it just that little bit more self-aware. If this isn’t clear in the title- where ‘Jason’ is credited before ‘Friday The 13th’- then it sure is in the actual title sequence.
In possibly my favourite Jason moment ever, the title sequence mocks the famed 007 sequences. Jason enters into a black screen, stops, turns and slashes downwards with a machete. The screen drips down with blood…. clearly McLoughlin knew this film was now a franchise, and consequently logic was out the window so long as all the standard hits were in place- once again like the 007 series. So McLoughlin did his best to bring the series up a level through acknowledging the material’s prior-influences and characteristics.
Now, does any of this make Jason Lives a good film? Well, no. The best Friday film is for my money Part 4. Any film that mixes Corey Feldmen, Crispin Glover and Tom Savini is going to be fun. And Freddy vs Jason gets a nod simply for existing so many years after my child brain craved the concept. And do any of these bold film making choices even make Jason Lives one of the best Post-Modern horror films? Well, once more- no. It is still a bit of a dull slog in places. But I would argue that it is the most overlooked child within the Post-Modern horror discussion. Maybe because, like Jason himself, it is not the prettiest of the ‘slick’ horror films, but it’s still noticed by some people like myself because, like Jason himself, it is a survivor.
The next entry is either going to be a look at of a long lost Kung-Fu flick which features one martial artist who has no legs teaming up with another martial artists who has no arms OR it’s going to be a write-up on why you’re wrong to download films. Yes- you. The one at the back with the eyes.
Thanks for reading,